Sometimes i wonder, how much i actually weigh in your heart. Do i have a stand in your love life right now? Your words and actions towards me are blowing hot and cold. This could cause a severe breakdown in me, like an incurable flu becoming worst because of the unpredictable weather.
Sometimes i wonder, who the genuine third party is. Was it me or her? Now that she's yours, what am i? Tell me im not just a normal friend, cos from the way things are right now, i dont wanna be a normal friend. But yet i know, i am me and you are you. We have no linkages between each other, not at all.
Sometimes i wonder, if im doing the right thing. By literally giving you the hugs and kisses and forgoing my beauty sleep as an opportunity cost to give you a morning wake up call, is it legitimate to do that on account that you've a girlfriend and she isnt me? Now, am i called the bitch that people label? Or a boyfriend stealer that everyone despise?
Sometimes i wonder, why ive to tangle myself in this triangle relationship when i could enjoy my own lovey dovey one. Why havent i let go despite all the arguments and realization, all the truth behind the facade, all the lessons learnt. Why havent i awaken from my naivety, instead, indulging into it more and more, deeper and deeper.
Give me an answer dear boy, just what am i to you? Yes, the truth always hurts. And again, do i really wanna know the harsh fact, the truth?
Now, im incoherent with grief. So just..ignore me.
"I dont wanna know
shi qu ni you duo tong
wo zhi yuan wei ni chun zai
jiu suan zhen ge shi jie dou shuo wo zhuo cuo
no no no
I dont wanna know
wo bu zai dui shui sheng chu wo de shuang shou
ying wei ni liu gei wo yi ge wei wan de meng
I dont need to know
ni ji mo de shi hou
dang ni bi shang ni de shuang yan
wo jiu hui zai ni zuo you"
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
* mates.
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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